Where are your manners, Sir?

Contact a lady in Singapore

An inquiry:




“you free now”



Wouldn’t you think after being ignored the first time, that you really are being ignored?

If I had $1 for every time somebody contacted me with a one word approach, I would be spending every second afternoon at Gucci on Orchard Rd, instead of sitting here in the hotel club room writing a blog about the joys of one word messages..

“hi” “hello” “hai” “you there” “free now” “cost”.. seriously? What sort of a reply are you expecting, and besides that if you were a decent human being with a real job with little time to spare, you would be desperate to put more than 1 or 2 words together to ensure you got a decent reply rather than a back handed comment from a pissed off lady.

But on the other hand, perhaps you like to be told off by a pissed off lady, or perhaps your weenie gets hard at the thought of knowing that you are raising her temperature and infuriating by sending her stupid 1 or 2 word messages….. or really do you think we are going to go into an extended chat session, followed by blowing each other loving kisses in the breeze with pussy pics..??

You have rocks in your head. No brain. Just rocks!!!

How would you like it if you were in your office, in the midst of a crazy busy day dealing with bankers, builders and candlestick makers, and along comes this message, “hi”. What do you do. Reply with baited breath, then drop everything and sit with your phone in hot sweaty hand hoping for another message with possibly 2 words… no way!! You just press delete and move on as if that message never existed, because it doesn’t. It wasn’t even a message, it was an annoying beep on your phone, but you have fixed the issue now, because your phone is now on silent and that douche-bag has been blocked. The next message you will bother with wont be a reply from that illiterate idiot, perhaps another but not the same one.

Gents, we are all busy. Whether it be busy at the hairdressers, or a busy afternoon at the Singapore stock exchange, still we are all busy, so please when you do contact a lady that you are interested in conversing with, to say the least, please string at least a sentence together. Include your country or city, because a touring international lady is just that a TOURING INTERNATIONAL LADY... which means not a local lady and unless you tell her where you are, she really has no idea where you are.

If you are contacting an international lady, assume she may be a travelling lady, and visit many countries and cities, thus have many ads on many sites, so if you are (for example) in Singapore, try “Hi, I am in Singapore this evening and wondering if you are available.” (Yes, I know I repeated myself)

The next TABOO is calling her on whatsapp…. on video call!! I mean, seriously!! What are you thinking?? If the lady on the other side of the phone wanted people to just randomly video call her, she would be all set up in a cam room with lipstick, leathers and lace ready to blow your socks off…. but she is NOT, so don’t be so rude to randomly VIDEO CALL her. (Idiot! *said under my breath)

Admittedly, a standard whatsapp call isn’t nearly as bad as a whatsapp video call, but it is still pretty dam bad, and equally rude and annoying!! 99.9% of whatsapp callers are calling from a +91, not that I have anything against India (in fact, I love Indian gentlemen!) but to the whatsapp serial offenders, get a real job and stop harassing us!

Let’s go through the pros and cons of using whatsapp… Ok, it is safe and secure. Messages are encrypted so the nasty eyes that collect info can’t see what you are sending ‘apparently‘ and the best part is YOU CAN USE FAKE NUMBERS ON WHATSAPP.. Oh ‘what’s that’, I heard half the Australian ladies touring into Asia and other parts of the world say….

Yes, ladies, that is right. You can spend $1 on a number and get a whatsapp account. The number doesn’t even have to be registered or even belong to anyone. So thumbs up to all the silly girls that are taking calls and making plans to meet guys that hide behind whatsapp numbers whilst in a foreign country…. Thumbs up for working safely when you are really working illegally in a country other than the one you are legally able to work in.

You have no idea who or where the other person is on the other side of that little phone in your hand, why? Because one person can create 20 accounts, using as many country codes as they want to spend their $1 on, and with this, they can make as much of a nuisance as they like because there is no way for you, or anybody else to find out who they are…. Oh this takes me to the subject of ‘no shows’… are they really no shows or are they another disgruntled lady or agency with a laptop and a handful of fake whatsapp numbers making whatsapp meetings to see you with no intention to really see you, but every intention to make sure you have a really terrible stay…… oh and this goes back to a comment I made in a previous blog ‘if you can’t afford a holiday, don’t tour‘.

Ladies and gents, it is really important for the both of you, to be able to speak directly to the lady/client that you are proposing to spend time with. By doing this, you need to make the call using a real phone and call a real phone, not a free ap. There is zero safety in using a free ap to discuss personal and sensitive issues.

Gents, if you are serious about booking a lady.. ! First and foremost, you must be able to afford a real phone and a few dollars making a call from your real phone to her real phone. There are many ‘pimps’ throughout Asia that sit behind the screen full of whatsapp windows, pretending to be the ‘lady in the picture‘. Why, if you are serious about connecting with a touring lady, why would you waste your time on idiot pimps that are basically human traffickers… I fully understand the reluctance to offer the deposits that the ladies are asking for, because I too would be hesitant to pay many via a whatsapp chat to a buxom blonde in fear of a hairy arsed man arrives in a pink frilly dress and crutchless knickers…

Make the call, you both need to know each of you exist.

SELFIES…. STOP asking for photos! ‘selfie’ ‘selfie’ ‘selfie’.. shove your selfie request where it fits. For me, as with most touring ladies, we are independent or agency managed, therefore we are real (and you know it because you spoke to us on the phone, right?) and you also spent 30 seconds putting our names into google to find our websites, (which you actually visited) or reviews, or pictures… oh whatever, it’s your money haha!

You DO NOT need to ask a lady for a selfie. If she is so compelled to send it to you, she will, but don’t treat her like a you are buying a used car and ask her for a shitty iphone selfie…¬†and ladies why would you send a selfie to some random freebie number?? Haven’t you already got enough pics in your ads? Send them a link to an ad with pics…. they don’t need anymore!

Ladies, you need to hear the voice of the person you are going to meet. Your gut instinct won’t look after you otherwise, and how will you know if that person even can speak English.. How will you stop somebody from doing something to you that isn’t kosher if they can’t (or pretend to not) understand what your boundaries are? Within 1 minute of hearing a voice, you will know if that client is for you. You also have the right to be fussy!

Another issue many touring ladies seem to forget, or overlook, is the legality of what you are doing when you are in another country. I have tweeted this several times, and will write a future blog on it, but in reality, while you are ‘working’ in another country, you are ‘working illegally‘ unless you have a work permit or a visa that allows you to work legally in that country… and I am pretty confident in saying that 99.9% of the touring ladies that are leaving Australia to take on the world do so with Australian passports.. just because you may be going to a country where it it legal to work in, that does NOT mean it it legal for you. It is legal for those that are citizens of that country, those that pay the taxes, vote in elections, those that qualify for medical benefits or whatever, not for YOU with your Aussie passport and holiday visa!

The fact of the matter is if you are an Australian lady, you are working illegally in any country apart from you own!! Comprehendo? No, most of you will never get it because you are too dumb to realise that, that is why you are taking calls and making appointments via free aps with no real idea who is receiving the information you are giving them.. Yes, I called you dumb. I am sorry (not sorry), but if that is what you are doing, then you are! Not only are you making it unsafe for you, you are making it unsafe for the rest of the ladies… but you don’t care if someone else gets hurt or worse, busted.. do you?

Lack of communication is a real issue!! For both the client and lady, without it there is the risk of lack of discretion, the risk of running into the law, or for the guys.. your wife or business associate, or a stand over pimp with that hairy arsed male in a filly pink dress and crutchless knickers on. Why would you risk walking into a hotel, or risk inviting someone to your hotel when you have NO IDEA who you are talking to..?? Why?

Play it safe everyone, use manners, communicate and MAKE THAT CALL… Don’ take the word of a few words on a screen.. if you have been ok to date, consider it luck, and we all know that runs out in the end.

Happy touring!

Rene Joile xx


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