Is he the one?

Is he the one?

Sound familiar?

‘Hi, nice to met you.’ he says smiling.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ she says with a sparkle in her eye.

‘Tell me about yourself. What do you do for fun, for work and for kicks?’ he says.

‘Oh, I um, love traveling, love taking my poodle for a walk. What do you do?’ she says changing the line of questioning and pointing it back at him..

What happened? Something that happens to all the ladies in this industry at one time or another.. Somebody that tickles her fancy asks questions.

The story goes like this…… Girl and guy meet. Guy likes girl. Girl likes Guy. Guy and girl catch up, and then a little more frequently. They share some laughs, get a little up close and personal. Time flies. Weeks pass, maybe even months. Everybody is happy, friends are merging, date night becomes history. Lazy weekends become the norm and you both have toothbrushes and little ‘forget me nots’ at each others houses and so on….

‘Why aren’t you working, babe?’ he says. She says  twitching in her seat ‘I have a part time job.’ ‘I work for a friend of mine.’ ‘I am waiting for an interview from this awesome company.’ ‘I am between jobs.’ blah blah blah

‘How are you managing to pay your bills?’ he says. She says, ‘I have money saved up.’ ‘My parents are looking after me.’ ‘My rent is really cheap.’ ‘I’m a PA and I do most of my work from home on my laptop.’ and so on…

Sticky isn’t it?

At what time is it ok to say ‘Hey, I am a sex worker’ or really is there even a time where spilling you deepest darkest secret can be harmoniously timed with the moon ensuring the lion sleeps at night. Perhaps you should tell everyone you meet, when you meet them, just as a precaution, or do you just let it slip and hope he never finds out…?

STOP. Ladies, don’t be so foolish to jump ahead and spill the beans, because not everybody is as liberal minded as we are.. if they were as liberal minded as they think they are, then they would all be doing what we do for work, but they don’t.

Unfortunately, with this work there comes many sacrifices, and one of the biggest sacrifices are relationships. It really is impossible to have a healthy relationship with another, and not expect them to ever find a monster in their brain tap away at them, painting pictures about what you are doing, where you are doing it, and worse, with whom you are doing it with.

It doesn’t make much difference if you meet them through work, or you meet them elsewhere. At one point in time, your lifestyle will creep up and slap you in the face, and these monsters have a very clever way of making you feel like you are doing something wrong, or feel guilty for doing what you do.

Unfortunately, those not in our shoes, will never really understand what we do or why we do it. Save yourself from heartache and focus on the job you started to do.

Keep your mouth sealed tight. Set your goals. Make your money, focus on the men that matter (and they aren’t the ones making you feel bad for doing what you are doing) and then do as you wish, but don’t even attempt to have a real relationship with somebody while you are working – it just won’t work.

Forget playing the ‘kiss and make up’ game. It’s a waste of time, and your time ain’t that cheap!

 

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